Tuesday, February 5, 2019

#TCEA19 Thoughts after My Day One

1) WHY OH WHY CAN I NOT GET OVER THE "THEY WON'T LET ME GO IF I'M NOT PRESENTING. IT CAUSES SO MUCH ANXIETY." I mean, really. Note to self/world ... turn off heart rate monitor aspect of Apple Watch before even thinking about standing in front of crowds. It's been going off a lot ever since the PE incident but was even higher this AM. Chill out, Ms. O. And thank goodness for a co-presenter who had her laptop. Yesterday's dismissal was so ... interesting that I ran out and didn't look back. Completely slipped my brain that was pounding from the decibels.

2) This one ended way early but no one seemed to mind. So I guess I won't stress that I talked too fast and ours ended early?

3) The SA Convention Center is SUPER CONFUSING. And so big. Got my steps in today and I feel like I did a lot of sitting.

4) I should probably try talking to more people. I feel awkward so I don't.

5) Saw a pretty cool presentation on AR/VR/MR. Sort of reignited the interest and then I was like "but no one will ever do it" and "who has the time when there are books to check in/out." I even have five iTouches that were supposed to be for Google Expeditions but surprise! Blocked by our district filter. And sadly the ViewMaster ones are kind of hard for the kids to navigate?

6) For a ___ year old I still find stickers pretty fun. This presentation was ... well, the connection was  lame and it threw her off. I didn't really learn anything but maybe one extension. Though in some ways that is kind of nice because it affirms maybe I know more than I give myself credit for?

7) I left at that point. Had gotten my sense of direction confused in the center too many times (and then actually lost my car in the garage for a good 10 minutes and it was so hot and muggy wandering around in there) and TRAFFIC.

That fifth one is the one that concerns me the most, and why I put up with the first one even when most of it was theoretical and I haven't been able to get anyone to TRY said activities with me. They are just ideas. The last couple of years ... it's been harder and harder. Y'all that do it all with no assistants ... I  can't keep up! I don't know if the stress of wanting to do more with the kids and feeling totally stifled by what feels like total non-support. With some actual examples that shows those feelings are not all in my head.  And hating all the times I have to say "I can't help" because I have another class or the dumb checkout system is being ridiculous. All anyone wants or has time to do is checkout. And visits on passes are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY down. Every year since I started tracking. Or health struggles that mean I can only do what I can only do.

I still need to post about the teacher self care conference last week. That was actually pretty cool. Or some books I've been reading. I haven't given up reading entirely, as the blog would make it look. I just tend to start a lot and never get around to finishing. Plus I've still got two more days here to see/hear more and figure out my own twist if I want to post about them (because straight up recaps you can get from their handouts, right?). But anymore I require a full 8+ hours of sleep to function and we're already too late for the + so goodnight.

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