So I went back and caught Roni Habib's video and it was great. So needed. Again, I can't really give you the lowdown, I am not eloquent and I'm out of the blogging habit. You need to watch it! (I think you can still sign up? Not sure. Google Ditch Summit 2019 and check. Burned In Teacher said on her stories that she had checked and it was a yes). The main thing is what people need? A safe place to land. Sharing mindfulness doesn't take away from classroom instruction time because the kids (and staff) are actually THERE. Distracted and disconnected? A huge reason why the last years have not felt as awesome as the years previous. For me, anyway. Just trying to figure it out.
(For as much time as I spend looking at images and skimming how tos ... and A. Spark making it easy tech wise ... I can't say I love any of them that I've created. Must work on the spark of creativity and design, I suppose! :P)
S'more notes.
POSITIVE EMOTIONS
ENGAGEMENT (Flow) RELATIONSHIPS
MEANING
ACCOMPLISHMENTS (Intrinsic)
Dr. Sheldon Eakins works in all sorts of ways for equity digitally and on a tribal school outside of Pocatello, Idaho. I'm sure he did experience some ... culture shock isn't exactly the right word but it's all I can come up with, at 0.8%, as lovely as the area is (I'm pretty familiar with at least a hundred or so miles away where my grandparents lived). I'm not a teacher of color and it was "still" an interesting presentation. Retreat and recharge ... and then go back it. Take care of yourself and then go back at it. That's what he said. He talked about black families having "the talk" and that made me sad, especially after just having finished Ghost Boys.
This might be one of the hardest kid’s fiction books I've ever read.
And I'm not really any closer to knowing what to do with it next year. It needs to be shared with lots of kids ... but it needs context and discussion. So many of them will just see the word "ghost" and think "ooh, scary story" and then the actual topic will be so NOT what they are expecting.
It was also hard to read because I have a brother in law enforcement. I guess that is exactly it, though. So many people have dealt with prejudice for nothing but what they look like. I don't want people to think my brother thinks terrible things because of a uniform he puts on. They don't want their kids to be hurt because of the color of their skin.
Hey! What better way to return to the blog world than a post about a teacher wellness online summit. It's a topic that has affected me a lot the last while. The better served the teachers are the better they can help the kids, you know? To repeat an overused phrase ... Put on your own oxygen mask first.
But you know what? It's true.
The first video I watched was by Brad Montague. He is pretty awesome and much of the voice behind Kid President. He talked about so many different things but I guess the main things I will take away from it are 1) it's OK to say no (you go Eric Carle!) and 2) to a kid simple is what they need. They don't need huge. Which makes filling their expectations and needs much easier. He says it all much more eloquently. Go watch KP's Pep Talk. 44 million views and counting. I've never seen him anywhere else. Have you? That's not the only thing he's ever done.
The next video I watched was Amber Harper of Burned In Teacher. I listen to her podcast and participated in her small group last spring so I was already familiar with a lot of her work. Having the hard conversations ... it's not the same thing as venting. It's looking for help and for fixes and action. If all you do is ever vent you will burn out ... and drive yourself into a dark place for sure away from education and also in terms of emotional/physical/mental health. But look for action? For real feedback? That's where you'll find your own power and be able to do the most good.
I have taken her quiz. A little bit of all of them. Burned and Over It ... obviously not over because I'm still trying. But definitely don't have the same rosy glasses I used to. My campus has been through a lot of changes the past couple of years and everyone acts differently. Burned and Unbalanced was definitely me a couple years ago. I definitely used to take on WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more and freak out if it wasn't perfect. Health issues have stopped much of that. Burned and Bored ... definitely. My job has changed a lot the last several years. That's one reason I don't post as much. I don't feel like I have as much interesting to share. I do a lot more that feels mundane. But I'm working on it, Internet. Your best imperfect step is better than nothing. It's still a spark.
More to come tomorrow. There's still another video to watch today (Roni Habib) and then tomorrow's. I know Dan Tricarico is one of them (The Zen Teacher).
I've been reading. Check out Goodreads and Instagram for some of that ... a mix of picture, middle grade, YA, adult fic, and some PD/personal growth.
1) WHY OH WHY CAN I NOT GET OVER THE "THEY WON'T LET ME GO IF I'M NOT PRESENTING. IT CAUSES SO MUCH ANXIETY." I mean, really. Note to self/world ... turn off heart rate monitor aspect of Apple Watch before even thinking about standing in front of crowds. It's been going off a lot ever since the PE incident but was even higher this AM. Chill out, Ms. O. And thank goodness for a co-presenter who had her laptop. Yesterday's dismissal was so ... interesting that I ran out and didn't look back. Completely slipped my brain that was pounding from the decibels.
2) This one ended way early but no one seemed to mind. So I guess I won't stress that I talked too fast and ours ended early?
3) The SA Convention Center is SUPER CONFUSING. And so big. Got my steps in today and I feel like I did a lot of sitting.
4) I should probably try talking to more people. I feel awkward so I don't.
5) Saw a pretty cool presentation on AR/VR/MR. Sort of reignited the interest and then I was like "but no one will ever do it" and "who has the time when there are books to check in/out." I even have five iTouches that were supposed to be for Google Expeditions but surprise! Blocked by our district filter. And sadly the ViewMaster ones are kind of hard for the kids to navigate?
6) For a ___ year old I still find stickers pretty fun. This presentation was ... well, the connection was lame and it threw her off. I didn't really learn anything but maybe one extension. Though in some ways that is kind of nice because it affirms maybe I know more than I give myself credit for?
7) I left at that point. Had gotten my sense of direction confused in the center too many times (and then actually lost my car in the garage for a good 10 minutes and it was so hot and muggy wandering around in there) and TRAFFIC.
That fifth one is the one that concerns me the most, and why I put up with the first one even when most of it was theoretical and I haven't been able to get anyone to TRY said activities with me. They are just ideas. The last couple of years ... it's been harder and harder. Y'all that do it all with no assistants ... I can't keep up! I don't know if the stress of wanting to do more with the kids and feeling totally stifled by what feels like total non-support. With some actual examples that shows those feelings are not all in my head. And hating all the times I have to say "I can't help" because I have another class or the dumb checkout system is being ridiculous. All anyone wants or has time to do is checkout. And visits on passes are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY down. Every year since I started tracking. Or health struggles that mean I can only do what I can only do.
I still need to post about the teacher self care conference last week. That was actually pretty cool. Or some books I've been reading. I haven't given up reading entirely, as the blog would make it look. I just tend to start a lot and never get around to finishing. Plus I've still got two more days here to see/hear more and figure out my own twist if I want to post about them (because straight up recaps you can get from their handouts, right?). But anymore I require a full 8+ hours of sleep to function and we're already too late for the + so goodnight.
It's (almost) Monday! What are you Reading? is a meme hosted by Sheila at Book Date. It is a great way to recap what you read and/or reviewed the previous week and to plan out your reading and reviews for the upcoming week. It's also a great chance to see what others are reading right now… who knows, you might discover that next “must read” book! Our Kid Lit to YA version is hosted by Teach Mentor Texts and Unleashing Readers.
The trailer doesn't do the book justice but it's a start. And it's for the Australian Hachette release date.
So have I mentioned before how much I loved Nevermoor? I don't know, it's been so long since I really blogged. But I loved that book. REALLY loved the audio. A little lunchtime audiobook club with some fifth graders has been the daily high point of a hard year. The narrator does such a good job of differentiating all of the different characters and the world building, guys. The world building in this story ... it's amazing. Some compare it to Harry Potter but that's just because it's got the basic archetypes in there. But seriously ... so much to mentally imagine. I read somewhere that it had a movie option before the first book ever released ... but no news since. Movies based on books are hard balances. Books are almost always better but BOY HOWDY it would be cool to see some of this truly up on the big screen. I WANT, WANT, WANT.
Book two Wundersmith The Calling of Morrigan Crow finally released in the US last Tuesday (still waiting on the audio). I went ahead and read it because I was dying to see what would happen next but you can bet I have been checking Audible like every other day just to see when I can finally get that version. Screamed out loud when I saw our district already had book two on pre-order for Overdrive/Sora. I'll still buy it but I'm excited for all the kids. It's a longer one ... similar to Harry Potter. A lot of my students don't stick with books that long anymore ... so it's been fun to see the little book club (it's only 6 kids) get excited about this story. I've talked about the series enough a couple other kids have talked their parents into buying them copies. And our one library copy is always checked out ... but so far no one else has actually finished it. Stamina. I want it for them but you can't force it, you know?
Anyway, between the breaks (we voted and even though I did actually try pushing Lockwood & Co. The Screaming Staircase pretty hard ... they really wanted to wait for book two the Wundersmith) the little book club is going to work on a little project showcasing Nevermoor. We'll see how it works out.
We'll see what else I finish this week. My trainer has me reading Eat Dirt. That sounds fun, doesn't it, right at the beginning of the holidays. Ugh with a CAPITAL U. But stamping my feet in denial doesn't deny the fact that check, check, check pretty much all the issues they talk about are what I've been experiencing. But who wants to totally relearn how to eat? I like pasta. I like bread. I like dairy. I like sugar. But I don't like feeling rotten. Conundrum.
I've missed you! I miss blogging when I had good ideas.
Some things have gone well.
Fifth grade used Seesaw to start making sort of like Reading Rainbow type booktalk videos. The hope is they will, about once a month, make more and comment on friends. To sort of build a reading community and practice talking about books and find new titles? We were going to use Flipgrid but since our district bought Seesaw for two years we figured we should try that. I loved them. That was awesome chaos.
I made some Batty for Books bookmarks with an image from Educlips. I have so many Halloween images I could go super crazy if I had the inspiration. Her image is cute. The phrase Batty for Books is not super creative but kids like them.
I took a personal day today. Initially it was totally for catching up on doc calls and cleaning but ended up being more about self care and sleep. But then I don't know if it was allergies or a cold ... one or the other. Or if it was the need for self-care manifesting itself physically again. Rotten sore throat and cough and voice. So anyway. Twelve hours last night plus a nap.
Internet, I'm not sure how much longer I will be doing this. I've loved this job for so long but it is affecting my health so negatively anymore I don't know what else to do. Had to go into counseling ("Therapy is cool"?) and she has suggested I think about leaving because so much of what I mention is just out of my control. I love when kids get excited about books. I love when kids get excited about learning. I love when kids get excited about tech. But the job I'm in now is not the same one I had five years ago. (Same place ... just not the same.)
1) I'm highly allergic to mold. A leaky ceiling for years? Second week of school a worker showed me a pic of inside our ceiling. Black and green all down a beam about 60 feet in length. Right next to the HVAC vents. He was arguing with someone on the phone about not passing this off. Can I get a straight answer since then? No. I'm the only one in the room all the time. Everyone else pops in and out. But a body constantly on the alert? Not helpful.
2) My whole body hurts. Like I feel beat up most of the time and I am 44. That is ... that's not super old. It's really not. I used to do half marathons. I wasn't fast but I did them. Now I need 9+ hours of sleep a day and am still yawning and dragging and I can hardly finish a book. Stress has taken that from me. I literally ... I came back to school and by about 4 days later could barely walk. People noticed and it was mortifying. Eased up a bit after a week or two but was so painful. Was that inhaling all the mold again after a summer away? I felt so much better this summer, guys, it wasn't even funny. I still needed a lot of sleep but the body pain and forgetfulness and fuzzy head ... it was better over the summer. I started to feel like me again. But they are not DOING anything about it. Air quality people claim there is not enough of a problem.
3) The negativity. And here I am contributing. I isolated myself from staff last year when I lost my assistant and couldn't ever get out of the library like even for lunch. I tried this year and ended up sitting by myself as they take chairs and move them to other tables. Or making me wish I was sitting by myself for the mean conversations I overheard.
4) I don't know anymore if it's my expectations or theirs but in the end ... it's what I want. My expectations are my expectations. Y'all that have been going without assistants for years and years and still manage a smile and to make it look easy ... HOW? It is SO HARD. Being stuck at the checkout desk is boring. Self checkout is not fun and it doesn't work. They are kids. YOUNG kids. If the staff can't deal with it how are kids going to? I don't understand why there are so many issues (is it our dumb network? I swear if we get the white no internet screen one more time I will scream!) I am always having to run over there to fix issues. Always. Always. Always. Always. Very very very few staff have bothered to learn how to check in or out books and even with them there are so many problems and I still have to run over there all the time. I want to be in a library where I'm out helping kids find books and teaching lessons and an awesome assistant runs the checkout. And the awesome assistant can help kids when I am busy with a class so that I don't have to stop and repeat seven times "I have a class, if you can't follow the self checkout poster you'll have to come back later." Is there such a place anymore?
5) Teachers don't send down their books. I send cheery reminders a couple times via instant messages throughout the day (because I know they are not sitting at their computers. I KNOW THAT) and still nothing. Or the class walks in with books and thinks I can check in books, help them find books, and help kids check out books all at the same time? Or they don't come and then want to reschedule? I know they are overwhelmed, too. But I can't go around to every class and I can't get student helpers so ...
6) The counselor thinks that this constant need to prove ourselves and tell the library story and reach every kid can be kind of damaging. That maybe I've internalized it too far. That is possible. Heaven knows I say "I am ONE person" enough times in a day. I should remember it myself. But there are so many kids.
Grumpy post out. I'll be too embarrassed to come back to the blog for a while now.
It's (almost) Monday! What are you Reading? is a meme hosted by Sheila at Book Date. It is a great way to recap what you read and/or reviewed the previous week and to plan out your reading and reviews for the upcoming week. It's also a great chance to see what others are reading right now… who knows, you might discover that next “must read” book! Our Kid Lit to YA version is hosted by Teach Mentor Texts and Unleashing Readers.
So I actually finished a few books last week, even with the family in town middle to end of the week. With that many people I pulled out for a bit each day just to get some quiet time. I'm a little sad now that I did that since it was a short visit and they are all gone now. But anyway.
Stuck to the Kindle. Need to get the hard copies started! Well, except for We Don't Eat our Classmates. That was a hard copy. Too funny. Bruce books are still my favorite but will enjoy reading it to classes next fall. I shared it with my niece Penelope as she was here visiting. And she is about to have a little brother likely to be named Walter. We thought that was funny.
Beyond the Bright Sea. Interesting. I didn't want to throw it across the room like I did Wolf Hollow. That book made me ANGRY and SAD! Emotional reactions ... that is a sign of good writing, right? Even if they aren't particularly positive? Lauren Wolk can write so beautifully. I can appreciate the beauty. But I really wasn't sure how many stars I wanted to give it. Like four-five four literary quality but flat out me liking it? Not as many. Is that fair?
I have been on a PD book kick and I find that ... odd and refreshing. Like after the black hole (see the other book, apparently) that was last year to have even a smidgen of caring again ... it's fun! Like there are so many good ideas I will save much of a review for their own blog posts. I'm not impressed with how much advertising was at the end of each of these books (10-12%) but the content that was there had some really good things to say. Hopefully not just because I was coming from such a blah place.
Yes. Blah place. Ugh. Moving on cause I'm not good at writing about how to overcome that yet! I missed my workouts 3 days last week because of all the visitors and then this morning because of lab appts. so tomorrow must get back on that horse because it's a vital component. Much as it's not super fun.
Still working on last week's hard copies. And The Google Infused Classroom and I got two more ... The Pepper Effect and Learner Centered Innovation. Don't know why I'm on such a kick. TBH I still need to read my copy of Disrupting Thinking and I've had it almost since it came out. And ... here I am going to say it out loud here ... NOTICE and NOTE. Bad teacher librarian. And so much money wasted, right? But to keep on top of reading to talk to the kids about!
DYING to get to the top of the wait list for War Storm. Not for my students but just me. Love YA when reading for me.
I've also been WATCHING a BBC show on ... Amazon Prime. Which usually was a big waste of video. DCI Banks. Anyone seen it?
So it's no secret that is' been like crickets around here. Some of this post is personal, some of it is professional. That's the way it might be for a while longer.
And you will think I am nuts when you see how many books I have started over the past week. And I checked 4 out of the library. And that doesn't count the other ones on the Kindle and the ones on the shelf and the ones on hold and the poor, neglected Netgalley and Edelweiss ones (if you can't SEE the books--because those are "hidden" in the documents section--it's way too easy for them to be forgotten. BAD BOOK BLOGGER. Side note ... since I sort of took a break from blogging? More random emails about books or sponsored posts than I ever got when I was posting every day. What is up with that?).
I probably won't get very far, either, because family is coming Tuesday night and won't leave til Saturday morning. But there is the rest of the summer for most of this.
Book 1 #SparksintheDark I tend to think of the title of this one in terms of the hashtag.
Because I did love Kids Deserve It and I love their enthusiasm. Tweeted a bit about it and will say more when I'm further along. Reading multiple books at a time it may take a while but with professional books I want to have time to think about things as I go and not rush. Sometimes (let's be honest, a lot of times) with fiction I rush.
Book #2 The Google Infused Classroom
I am pretty Google literate (got my level 1&2 certs last summer ... didn't do trainer because I can't ever get people to come to trainings but maybe I need to think more out of the box on how I do that?) but all of the reviews say it is still useful and so far I would agree. And it looks like they have another one coming out? But student dependent not savvy ... that is SO TRUE. I also kind of want to go back and also get Google Apps 4 Littles to see if there is anything I can share and get teachers to do (I tried to get them to use the color coding login cards but they didn't "get" it) but I'm already spending too much $ ... got a new Kindle Fire, too. So we'll see.
And remember I already read Kasey Bell's Shake Up Learning: Practical Ideas to Move Learning from Static to Dynamic this spring and it was awesome so I totally recommend that. More about teaching than tech, really.
Book #3 The Wild Card
Part of me resisted this one a little bit because last year is close enough to remember how tired I still feel (it wasn't all THAT ... the docs claim part of it is an autoimmune thing but as the internet claims that will never go away I keep hoping to find something that will make me feel like I used to ... but I digress) but the other part of me wants to get some FUN back into things. Because FUN is ... well, more more fun for all of us and more engaging for kids. More memorable, right? And more work. But does it feel like work? That's the balance. So we'll have to see.
Which is not to say everything last year went wrong. Was actually quite surprised by a very positive evaluation by the AP. She's pretty reasonable and nice. Didn't get to actually talk to her about it (was all done electronically) and have any face to face time but whatever. Will take what I can get. Apparently my feelings that this past year was the worst one of my entire career ... that was the "d" word talking and not necessarily what everyone else saw?
Before I put the last book here is a pic from last week. One of my fave people is retiring. Can you see me? ;) I'll admit I had to make myself go. Even now when things are much better than they were four-six months ago. But I was glad that I did.
I learned about this one through the Calm app and a masterclass. They give educators free access to the Calm paid version and while I think they wanted it used with kids I've used it more with me (and not consistently used it, to be honest, until the past week when I started listening to some of their masterclasses ... one on Social Media and Screen Addiction and then this one on Depression. I think the Social Media one deserves more thought and a professional angle on it because it really does have me thinking about some ways I can support parents more). TMI?
There. I said it. It's embarrassing (and it shouldn't be) and mortifying (and it shouldn't be) but man oh man oh man the past school year was NOT FUN and it has only been through a combo of family, faith, meds, and here again I am going to say it out loud professional help that I am climbing out of it now. The funny thing is it means less time online and more time back exercising (why is that SO STINKING HARD STILL because it does make a huge difference) and trying to connect again with those outside of family. I guess that is why I am saying anything here. Because teacher librarians ... it is way too easy to isolate ourselves. WAY TOO EASY. The school community doesn't mean to but they actually enable it some when they do things like take away assistants and get upset if the library door is locked for lunch and have everyone sit with "teams" at staff meetings and at lunches and such because where does that leave us? So. Self care. Make it a priority. Even if you are an introvert still talk to people because even introverts need some people. Even when you don't think you feel like it you need some people. Break into groups even when it makes you feel super uncomfortable. Now the sun one in this book. UGH IT IS SO STINKING HOT DURING THE SUMMER IN SOUTH TEXAS. During the year that is very likely part of the problem. I leave before the sun comes up, go inside to where I have no windows, and if they get their way don't leave until the sun goes down. That. Has. To. Stop. Being allergic to the air doesn't help ... but you know, the more I learn the more I wonder if some of the allergies aren't all related to a body at war with itself. Anyway.
(To be honest I found the Calm masterclass better than this Ted Talk. But you'll have to fill out the application first for that.)
Here are some of the books that are on deck. The left from public library. Right from my school collection. Again, terrible book blogger because bad lighting and staging. Asi es la vida. Most of my IG pics are better. But re Social Media and Screen Addiction ... this is more real life, you know. ;)
Happy Summer Break! Unless you are not on Summer Break? Not everyone is. I sometimes sort of forget that in reality other people CAN read this and they CAN be from other places. Happy READING, either way. If the personal stuff is TMI ... it won't last forever. If you've ever felt the same ... it happens. It does get better!
Ghost Boys by Jewell Parker Rhodes
